


Intergalactic Mishap

by tajn



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Aliens, Geoff isn't great with technology, M/M, Memories, Science Fiction, Temporary Amnesia, injection, prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-07-29 11:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7683355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tajn/pseuds/tajn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin and Michael are recruited by a couple of aliens to save their friend but apparently this isn’t their first time in space. </p>
<p>Loosely based off the prompt: Imagine your OTP being abducted by aliens, becoming intergalactic heroes, only to have their memories wiped at the end because of some intergalactic law. Their story is the most told in the galaxy and they don’t even know it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Those Who Came From the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> This was for a secret santa last christmas but I wanted to post it here! the story was for starlight9001.tumblr.com so thank them for the awesome prompt :D

Chapter One: Those Who Came From the Stars 

Intergalactic protocol 1093: Do not seek the assistance from the life form known as homo sapien sapien. They have the genetic tendencies of insubordination, recklessness, and aggression.  
Clause: When the infarction level is level C-5 or higher a homo sapien sapien team of two may be formed using the HSS algorithm. 

Intergalactic protocol 1094: If homo sapien sapein team is formed for a specific mission, the team’s memories must be erased after mission objectives are completed. This is to prevent the Homo sapiens sapiens above-mentioned tendencies from cause a war with other intergalactic species that would ultimately lead to one of the species extinction. 

Intergalactic protocol 1095: member of the homo sapien sapien team will not meet after mission objectives are complete.  
Clause: If the same homo sapien sapien team is selected by the HSS algorithm for another mission intergalactic protocol 1095 is void.

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

“Gavin Free: Technological specialist. Fastest record for disabling ship is 23.4 seconds. Remarkable at improvisation in terms of technology. On earth he was able to make a working radio that was able to broadcast to space. First human to contact the Intergalactic Bureau and annoy them into responding. 

Michael Jones: close range combatant specialist. Primary used Blue Rage; note that he is the first human to utilize Blue Rage successfully. Also showed remarkable skills in several guns subclasses. Called the man with 1000 pockets for his tendency to horde bullets and other supplies while raiding enemy ships.” 

The team has been noted to the most successful team of the homo sapien sapien race. Mission success rage: 100%. Status: dismissed permanently.” The low drone of the computer said finishing. 

“So are these are our guys?” Geoff said lifting his head from his arms. They had been looking over documents for past two days and it seemed as if Ryan was ready to finalize the humans that they would be using for this job.

“They seem promising.” Ryan said shuffling through the papers on the duo. 

“Fucking finally! I already have their stuff too. So you better not back out like a bitch”

 

“But if these guy are as good as the records show then why have they been dismissed?” Ryan said beginning to leaf through the piles of papers that littered the table.

“No idea,” Geoff rubbed at his silvery eyes trying to get the sleep out of them.

“Not even going to try and look?” Ryan tsked as he shuffled through the papers. 

“Fuck off man, I’m tired.” Geoff said. “You know how much of a pain in the ass it is to steal from the IGB.” 

“I do in fact- Ah, here it is.” Ryan said grabbing the sheet of paper. “Reason of dismissal: team dynamics. What does that even mean?” 

“They didn’t get along?” Geoff guessed. “ So lets keep them the hell away from each other. Problem solved. Let’s get them, inject them, and do this shit.”

“But-“ 

“We are not picking other fucking teammates, Ryan.” 

“if the plan blows up, it is your fault then,” 

________________________________________________________________________________

Ryan had though he had experienced the strange in his days of space pirating. He has seen being that could split themselves into two as easy as it would be putting on a shirt, plants that could debate the therapeutic properties of classic music, and even people who honestly thought that wearing socks with sandals looked good.

But he had never in all his days seen someone like Gavin Free. In a single word he was a conundrum. In the four hours that Ryan has been tailing him, Gavin had managed to light himself on fire on three separate occasions and had been filming it the entire time. He was constantly questioning things and seemed to fly off in a tangent every couple of minutes. And for whatever reason, Gavin had taken over a dozen ‘selfies’ from the walk from the park, where the fire and filming had taken place, and his home. By the time Ryan had followed Gavin to his workshop, he had had enough.

Maybe Ryan had made a mistake in his selection of humans for the mission. Nonetheless, the decision had been made and Gavin Free’s credentials had been spectacular. So readjusting his cap and sunglasses, no need to completely shock the human, Ryan let his natural camouflage fall. 

“Are you Gavin David Free. 26 years old?” Ryan said tapping the tin walls of the workshop. 

“AH-ha,” Gavin said seemingly bursting from the chair and spinning it at the same time. “You finally reveal yourself!” 

“Pardon me?” 

“My thermo cameras were detecting an abnormality in the shape of a person.” Gavin said waving his camera at Ryan.

“You have thermo cameras?” Ryan said slightly impressed and embarrassed. He has under estimated the human and has forgone regulating his temperature. 

“Of course!” Gavin exclaimed. “While I was in the park I was measuring the amount of heat transferred when something or someone is lit on fire, and while doing so I saw your abnormality. It really stood out because it was lower than the surrounding temperature while I was experimenting with higher temperatures. I knew it wasn’t a weather irregularity when it started following me home. Also I am.”

“You are, what?” Ryan blinked and was still trying to figure out what Gavin had been saying. It hadn’t said anything about the human’s observation skills, which were obviously high. 

“Gavin Free.” 

‘So you are the one who made the radio that ‘accidently’ contacted the international space station?”

“It was a bloody accident.” Gavin protested. “What are you the cops? Cause I already cleared it up. It was a good thing it was me who broke into their systems cause I just wanted to ask about the toilets. If anyone else broke in them they could have minged up the air pressure. Also, I checked and it technically isn’t illegal to have thermo cameras,”

“Gavin. It’s fine,” Ryan said raising his hands trying to calm the man down. “I’m just a fan.” 

“What? Why?” Gavin said looking skeptical. 

“Ingenuity and curiosity is a very attractive trait. Especially if one has the intelligence to satisfy these lusts,” 

“Oh, uh thanks.” Gavin said scratching at his neck and turning to back to his work. 

“Do you believe that there are other life forms outside of the earths atmosphere,” Ryan said trying to be as casual as possible.. 

“Like aliens,” turning back to Ryan.

“For lack of a better term, Yes.” 

“I don’t know. I never seen any but it isn’t outside the realm of possibility. Wouldn’t that be brilliant though?” 

“Yeah well,” Ryan said dramatically pulling off his cap and sunglasses revealing bright rainbow colored hair, bright yellow eyes, and light scales that ran across his temple and the edge of his cheekbones. 

“Bloody hell. That isn’t a costume?” Gavin said jumping from his chair and grabbing the flashlight off the table. Gavin began to brushing his fingers along the scales with one hand and flash the light into Ryan’s pupils with the other. “No roots and pupils are constricting normally.” Gavin mumbled 

“What are you doing.” Ryan said gently pushing Gavin away.

“Seeing if they are contacts.” Gavin said quietly and obviously deep in thought. 

“So you believe me?” Ryan said raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” 

“Good. Now I have a proposition for you,” Ryan said barely finishing before Gavin jumped into action. 

Gavin grabbed a cardboard box and dumped it on the ground and started to run around the shed and refilled the box with, from what Ryan could tell, miscellaneous junk. “Can we stop off at home so I can grab a proper bag and some clothes. Do I need food? Do we eat the same things? Do you even eat? I have a discount at the grocery store where I work so it’s fine!”

“What are you doing,” Ryan asked slightly bewildered.

“You’re taking me to space, right?” Gavin said pleadingly. “Because I have always wanted to go to space.” 

“Well technically, you have already been.” Ryan said. 

“Wait what?” Gavin said immediately perking up. 

Well…” Ryan said thinking if Geoff was this easy of a time convincing Michael Jones. 

 

_____________________________________________

“That’s bullshit. Do you honestly expect me to believe that you are an alien,” 

“Look at my eyes dude,” Geoff said wildly gesturing at his pure silver eyes.

“Contacts.” Michael said waving it off. 

“MY BLOOD IS ALCHOLIC” 

“You can’t fucking prove it,” Michael said walking towards the gamestop that Geoff had managed to pull him out of.

“Like hell I can’t” Geoff said pulling out a knife. 

“whoa buddy,” Michael said raising his hands defensively. “it’s all good,” 

“Don’t treat me like I’m crazy.” 

“You are acting pretty crazy.” Michael said looking between Geoff and the knife in his hand. 

“That because you aren’t listening!” Geoff said with his voice cracking.

“Okay.” Michael said looking around for an escape route. “Lets say that I did believe that you are an alien.” 

“Because I am.”

“Okay. But what about that shit you said about me going to space, saving the universe, and now how I can’t remember fuck all about it,” Michael

“Well because the IGB wipes humans of their memory of their mission.” 

“Wait,” Michael, said taking a step towards Geoff that had eliminated all the progress that Michael had been making to get away from Geoff. “How long was the mission?”

“Uh I don’t know,” Geoff said confused but glad that Michael wasn’t actively trying to run away from him now. 

“Was it two weeks?” Michael said, all but forgetting the knife that was still in Geoff’s hand, and pulling Geoff by the collar until Michael and Geoff’s noses were practically touching. 

“two weeks? Uh about?” Geoff bullshitted. 

“Those motherfuckers.” Michael said shoving Geoff away.

“What?”

“I lost my job because I went on some bullshit mission to save the universe.” Michael said kicking at a trashcan. “I was an electrician. Do you know how much money a electrician makes!?! A hell of a lot more than a sales associate at goddamn GameStop. So how much did I get paid to save the universe?” 

“You didn’t.” 

“Fuck off,” Michael said stomping towards the obnoxious car that Geoff had parked in front of the game stop with.

“Where are you going?” 

“I’m going to space to kick the IGA’s ass,” Michael said ripping the door open and plopping himself into the passenger seat, and crossing his arms impatiently. 

“The what? Oh the IGB” Geoff said smirking. At least Michael was the type of guy that Geoff could get along with.


	2. And We Are Blasting Off Again.

Michael knew he was impulsive. He would take any dare given to him (and was more than likely to successfully complete it) and would always voice his, usually blunt, opinions. And it was his impulsiveness is what made him simultaneously great and awful at videogames. But today, his impulsiveness had gotten him into the backseat of a spaceship that looked a lot like a 1998 minivan with sideways wheels and a rocket strapped to the back with an ‘alien’ hold a epi-pen out to him. 

“So, you are trying to tell me that this-” Michael pointed to the device in Geoff’s hand. “Holds my memories when I was a badass intergalactic hero?” 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.’ Geoff said rolling is silver glazed eyes. “Now hold still. I don’t know what will happen if I miss.” Geoff said pulling his arm back with the blue liquid filled device. 

“Wait.” Michael said holding up in hands. “I need a minute. It’s just that all of this sounds like bullshit.”

“Michael. You are in a space ship with an alien. Can you suspend your damn belief and let me inject this into….” Geoff grabbed at the box that the device that came in and squinted his eyes as he read the small print on the side of the box. “The space between the first and second cervical vertebrae… where is that on a human?”

“Jesus Christ.” Michael huffed and leaned back to try and get out of Geoff’s reach. 

“I’m kidding.” Geoff snorted. “I know it’s in the neck area.” 

“Cause that makes me feel better.” 

“If you are such a bitch then why did you follow me?” 

“One, fuck you. Two, cause what the IGA are doing is shitty.” 

“The IGB.” Geoff corrected again. 

“What-fucking-ever. The point is, is that those fuckers are stealing people to do their dirty work then dropping them off without even a memory of what they were doing. I was gone for, apparently, two weeks. And I know fuck all about what happened while I was in space. I’m fucking lucky that I just lost my job. What happens when people die in goddamn space? Do the IG-whatever drop the bodies off at earth or are these people ‘missing’ forever. It’s bullshit.”

“That’s not even the worst that the IGB have done.” Geoff muttered darkly. 

“What else have they done?” Michael said leaning in closer to Geoff. 

“Nothing for you to worry about. But the feeling of wanting to kick the IGB’s ass is mutual throughout the team.” 

“Alright. Shoot me up.” 

“What?” 

“Give me the memories or whatever.”

“Sweet dude.” Geoff said maneuvering behind Michael and pressing the memory injector to Michael’s neck. “Now this might sting a bit.” and Geoff pressed the button. 

“That wasn’t too- Aw FUCK,” Michael screamed as he felt a rush of pressure hit him in his forehead. 

 

Geoff gave Michael a few moments to collect himself before asking, “So you ready to blue rage at the IGB?” 

“Blue rage?” 

“ You know, harnessing your emotion to super-enchanting your muscles in order to get the best performances out of speed, strength, and technique” 

“I have no clue about what you are talking about, man,” Michael said rubbing at his forehead.

“You should,” Geoff said scrunching his eyes in confusion and grabbing for the device’s box again and pulling out a small booklet of instructions. He quickly leafed through the pages before settling on one of the last pages “Not to worry,” Geoff said. “It says memories can takes as long as 48 hours to completely re-emerge and that recipients should rest during this period in order to receive the memories- who has time for this?” Geoff flicked the instructions onto the floor. “Alright, let’s go.” Geoff said squeezing himself into the front seat. 

“Hey Geoff,” Michael said settling into his seat and putting on his worryingly lackluster seatbelt on.

“Yeah?”

“Why is this spaceship a piece of shit?”   
“Ryan won dibs.” Geoff said bitterly.

“Ryan?”

“My teammate.”

“So the two aliens I have met are named Geoff and Ryan.” Michael muttered.

“Shut the hell up, dude.” Geoff said flicking on some of the switches and pulling the gears. 

“So where is this teammate?” Michael asked.

He went to get the other human from England.” 

“England?” Michael said perking up. “Where in England? Oxsfordshire?” 

“Yeah. How the hell did you know that?” Geoff said glaring suspiciously at Michael. 

“I don’t know.” Michael shrugged. “Lucky guess?” 

 

~_~_~_~

 

“Well it seemed simple enough,” Ryan said lounging in the cockpit of the spaceship as the ship flew in autopilot. Unlike Geoff, Ryan had completely gone through the instructions and had even gone so far as to shoo Gavin into the small cot in the maintenance closet, an addition that Geoff had made. 

It hadn’t even been 20 minutes when Ryan heard the door of the maintenance room creak open and a few moments later the door to the cockpit. 

“What’s up,” Ryan said. 

“What were some of the side effects of the serum again,”

“Short term? Mild headache, nausea, and tingling at the injection site. Why are you experiencing any of these?” 

“No I was just having a bit of strange dream, is all.” 

“A dream? That’s it.” Ryan said. “This is the first time you’ve been in space, from your memory at least, I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a strange dream. Best case scenario, it’s your memories re-emerging.” 

“ If it was a space dream, that would make sense.” Gavin said pulling out a small machine from his pocket and began tinkering with it. 

“Then what did you dream about,” Ryan said feeling intrigued.

“Well, I was dreaming that I was kissing-“ 

“Oh,” Ryan said. “Well Gavin. From what I have read in the literature, it is perfectly normal for men your age to have dreams like-“

“Myself.” Gavin finished. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I had a dream that I was kissing myself.” 

“Well, that’s slightly narcissistic.”

“Right? My dreams are usually all over the gaff. But this makes me feel like a bloody tosser.” 

“…Sure? Do you remember anything else about the dream?” 

Gavin’s face contorted in deep concentration, “Like, I was me but I wasn’t.” 

“What does that even mean?” 

“It was me but I was different.” 

“Okay” Ryan said running his hand through his rainbow hair. “Let’s go in another direction. How did you feel when you were kissing… dream Gavin.” 

“Well, he was being fucking annoying as shit and I wanted to kick his ass but then Gavin gave me that you’re-my-boi look. So I kissed him.” Gavin smirked. 

“Do you usually speak in the third tense?” Ryan said watching Gavin analytically. 

“What? No why?” 

Ryan grabbed at a couple pieces of paper and began to scribble something on them. “Strange. Interesting but strange.” 

“What?” Gavin said sitting up straight.

“Nothing for now,” Ryan said. “Have you noticed anything else out of the ordinary?” 

“What are you doing Ryan?” Gavin said leaning in and trying to see what Ryan was writing, only to be disappointed that it wasn’t in any human language that Gavin could recognize. 

“I think I just found my next thesis.” Ryan said beginning to hum happily to himself. “And it’s all thanks to Geoff’s mistake, figures.


	3. Meet Up

“Now don’t be alarmed but we are now going to be speaking to the second half of our team through video chat. To be clear, it will not be a recorded tape but it will be a live communication. Something akin to speaking on the telephone.” Geoff said waiting for Michael’s awe but was disappointed to only receive a blank stare. 

“So we are going to Skype them?” Michael said.

“Skype?” 

“Yeah the exact thing you described was Skype. Anyone with a computer or phone can do that.” Michael said rolling his eyes. 

“huh,” Geoff said turning his back to Michael and began to click things into the computer. 

“If you want to be an asshole about your ‘advanced civilization’ show me something impressive.” Michael said settling into his seat.

“What about the memory injector?” Geoff said ignoring the bing that showed that the call had be connected. 

“You stole that,” Michael said rolling his eyes.

“Yeah from a super fucking advanced militarized civilianization.” 

“Whatever dude,” 

“Would you care to begin, gentleman,” Ryan said amused by the end bit of the conversation that he had heard. 

“Holy shit,” Michael said looking up at the screen to see the rainbow haired man. “He looks a hell of a lot more like an alien than you,” Micheal said wildly gesturing at Ryan’s hair and scales that framed the upper half of his face. 

“Thank you,” Ryan chirped before Gavin pushed his way into frame, although the only thing that could be seen was his large nose. 

“Ello!” Gavin said happily. 

“Is he an alien too? Cause his nose is too gargantuan for earth’s atmosphere,” Michael deadpanned but couldn’t help but smirk when Gavin squawked in annoyance. 

“Real original there,” Gavin muttered as he moved away from the camera. 

“You nose is just so huge that I can’s help but be draw to it, it’s like it has it’s own gravitational field.” 

“Oi –“ Gavin’s face becoming a deep shade of angry red.

“All right dickheads,” Geoff said. “If this is how you guys act on your first meeting I can understand why the IGB don’t want you.” 

“Geoff, why the fuck is their spaceship not a piece of shit?” Micheal said finally getting a good look at the background. If Geoff’s spaceship was a minivan then Ryan’s was a Lexus. 

“I had dibs,” Ryan stated. “But Michael, this might be a bit of a tangent but have you noticed any strange behaviour from yourself post injection?” 

“Post injection?” Michael said, “Why is the memory injector going to fuck me up? I looked at all the side effects but they seemed minimal. But who bloody knows with that kind of tech, eh?” 

“Bloody? Is that a term in your usual-“ 

“Ryan, please.” Geoff all but screeched, “We have a mission to discuss.”

All right dickheads, this mission is split into three primary submissions. The first will be Michael and I getting a shit ton of weapons while Ryan and Gavin will be getting the blueprints for the prison-“ 

Micheal’s head snapped towards Geoff, “the prision?” 

“What exactly are we doing?” Gavin asked knowing the awnser but hoping that he was wrong. 

“Obviously a prison break,” 

“So who’s the jailbird?” 

“The third member of our crew,” Ryan’s said finally adding to the discussion. 

“ANYWAYS, after we have done the first two parts of the mission we meet, hope you two assholes don’t rip each other apart, and break the dickhead out of jail.” Geoff said looking between the four who all nodded. 

“So how exactly does this fuck with the IGB,” Michael leaning back into his chair. 

“The prison we are attacking is filled with those against the IGB. Rebels if you will.” Ryan said. “And the IGB will certainty be hindered if over 1.5 million escape from their ‘impenetrable prison,” Ryan said bitterly at the end. 

“So what do you say, you interested?” 

“Sounds alright,” Gavin said. “I’m interested in the tech that would allow a prison to gloat being the strongest in the world but I have never faced a digital lock I couldn’t break.” Gavin grinned. 

“As long as I get to fuck over the IGB, I’m happy” 

“Sweet as dicks dude,” Geoff smiled. “Now get the logistics outta the way.”


End file.
